Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Father's Day Tribute Continued: Daddies Are Different

This past weekend, Ryan and his two little boys were enjoying a Father's Day stroll along one of the neighborhood golf courses when Cavan's tricycle spun off the golf cart path and down a small hill, landing my toddler into the murky lagoon. I was still cleaning up from breakfast when the lot showed up at the front door. Ryan, shoeless because he had torn one in the fight to rescue Cavan, was wet from the knees down. Cavan, who was soaked but otherwise happy, was trying in his limited toddler vocabulary to tell me all about the accident at the pond. Camden, unscathed, was holding his Daddy's broken flip-flop and telling me his own version of the story. They were a mess, but they were safe and adorable.

I can't tell you that the same thing wouldn't have happened on my watch, because the truth is, it has (see my previous story "Meet the Swim Team" when both of my tots let themselves outside to go for a swim in 1ft.- deep mud puddles). Parenting is not for amateurs. I run a tighter ship than Ryan, and it's not because I love the boys any less or more-I just tend to worry about everything, whereas Ryan doesn't. For instance, Ryan might let the boys swim in diapers, or naked. He'll let them stay up later, play with tools, and he'll let them watch all the Cartoon Network they like. That's what dad's do right? Well, that's not all. They fix toys, they fix boo-boos, and they also share every minute of their children's joys and sorrows. Ryan always comes home to remind the boys they are first in his life, and no matter how long or strenuous his day, he still makes time to read to the boys for a solid hour every night before bedtime. We're blessed.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

For Ryan: A Father's Day Tribute In Pictures

Because sometimes words aren't enough (or they are too much), I have decided to post a few family photos that capture Ryan with our precious boys. He is our hero and the definition of every little boy's dream of a dad.








Thursday, June 10, 2010

Precious Bedtime

Are all the children all in bed? Now it's eight-o-clock.

Ah, sweet nightfall. The hour of repose. The blessed bedtime hour. I'm guessing that's when many stay-at-home moms get their second wind. The time to finish all the things that kept getting pushed aside because of the demands and needs of the little ones in their care. For me it's laundry. I can only fold laundry in absolute peace-and-quiet (i.e. no sounds from the children or husband). I like to pile the clothes on top of the bed, sit with my legs crossed, and watch TV, folding only during commercials. Sounds wonderful doesn't it? You'd be correct in assuming that never happens, and as a result, I am constantly behind on laundry duty. Maybe the truth is that, by the end of the day, I am left winded (as opposed to getting my second wind). I am out of breath, out of time, out of words...

Every night I sit in front of this smart laptop and think about how I can put a funny or insightful spin on what is usually a very chaotic day with the boys. Not every day is without control mind you, but as they say in the biz, "if it bleeds it leads," and in my house, if it's not bleeding, it's peeing, or pooping, or on fire. I like to fantasize that I am like Carrie from Sex and the City: hair down, Jimmy Choo's kicked aside, relaxed at the computer, and typing away at the next day's column. I like to write for fun, but I admit it is not my greatest talent. Neither is accessorising, so there is no world in which I could ever be mistaken for the fun-loving, drama-seeking, martini-drinking, fashion-forward New Yorker, Carrie Bradshaw. Regardless, here I am typing away at tomorrow's blog, Old Navy flats kicked off, tired but relaxed, and thinking it funny that my husband has been asleep in our three-year-old's room since 6:30. Bless his his heart, he works for a living too, you know.

My life can't quite compare to Carrie's; however, it is not without drama. Today Cavan (who will be two next month and is eager to use the big boy potty but sometimes misses) changed his own dirty diaper before I could get to him. There's really no telling how long he was in his crib standing in his own filth before I found him. I am really not a terrible mother, but finding my youngest in that condition really made me question my abilities. In my defense, it was naptime, and I thought all his chatter was regarding the books I left for him to read (lately he has taken to having books in his bed, and he'll cuddle with them as if they were stuffed animals). I gave him a bath and noted that it was another one for the books (or blog), and we spent the rest of naptime enjoying quality time together while his older brother slept.

Naptime and bedtime are sacred moments for us "at-homers". When else would we have the time to read, write, or study music? I can't even go to the restroom without someone following me. Right now, my youngest is asleep in his crib, my husband is asleep in Camden's bed, and Camden just came tip-toeing in the room to remind me he is still awake and that he needs something to eat. I am glad to see his sweet face, and I am all of a sudden very tired of this computer. It's not quite bedtime, and we are headed to bed to cuddle and read and watch toons 'til one of us falls asleep. Blog schmog.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Danger Zone

It's no surprise that it has been over a month since my last entry, but I swear, I really do want to keep a blog- even if only for posterity's sake. My boys are too darn cute and funny not to!

We have been living in our Savannah home for 7 weeks now. I am still unloading miscellaneous boxes, and Ryan has just turned the back of the house into a "hard hats required" zone. We do have new lighting in the living room, and we have managed to get one wall painted and two others partially stripped. The boys require constant attention, so progress is slow. They want to be everywhere Daddy is, which is adorable, but Cavan really is too young for power tools. Camden, on the other hand, has already fallen in love with his Dad's new Dewault. The boys and I spend our days island-hopping while Ryan is at work. I can't get much accomplished without him, so what's the point in trying, right? Poor me. It's not a bad life, but it does have its hazards. For instance, while I was changing Cavan's dirty diaper this morning, Cavan, in one fell swoop, grabbed the diaper from underneath him and threw the wad of poo at my face. Thank goodness he missed. Motherhood is a danger zone.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Calm, Cool, and Collected

My friend, Caroline Nixon, has written this wonderful book entitled A Mom's Guide to Sanity. She is a perfectly centered and controlled mother of two. Actually, to quote the cover, she is "calm, cool, and collected." The minute I stepped foot into her perfectly organized home, an ideal model of feng shui at its finest, I knew this woman had it together. I do not. In fact, if I were to write a book about my motherhood experience so far, it would be entitled, The Real Reason Mothers Go Insane. I am the market for her book. I am the real reason books like hers even exist.
Even though her home may look spotless, Caroline understands the challenges of the stay-at-home mom. Along with the requisite qualities mothers must posses, like a sense of humor and a sea of patience, Caroline knows the real key to staying sane is acceptance. In her Afterward, "Letting Go," she challenges other moms "to be kind not only to themselves but to other moms as well." She goes on to point out, "It is difficult enough even dealing with a three year old having a full blown tantrum in the middle of God knows where" (That was me last week -in the busy parking lot of Harris Teeter holding a screaming preschooler with one arm, and with my free arm, pushing a rickety cart holding a mountain of groceries and my other unhappy baby). "But to look up only to see glaring eyes from other women, moms, is unhelpful and hurtful. Should we not support each other?"
Yes! Thank you, Caroline! I know I can count on you for a sympathetic nod when my preschooler has an accident and needs to be changed in the back of my SUV in front of all the world to see, or when my toddler screams murder and hits me in the face when I try to put him in his car seat. No, I am not abusing my child! How long we will be in this parking lot before everyone is safe and quiet in their seats, because God knows I can't multi-task when I am driving?! Why just last week, while hauling two tired and hungry boys around a new city in busy lunch-hour traffic, I rear-ended the businessman in front of me at a red light...
Thank God we are all fine. Thank God we are finally calm, cool, and collected (for now).

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Meet the Swim Team


I had my reservations about sharing this story, but I thought I should get it down just for the sake of posterity, and please, before you judge me, or worse call child protective services, just remember this: my boy tots are 19 months apart in age, and I'm pretty sure they are both geniuses. So, here we go.

We are about to make our third family move in 16 months. In the fall of 2008 we moved from Charlotte, NC to Fayetteville. At that time Camden had just turned 2 and Cavan was 5 months old and crawling. Cavan learned to walk in our Fayetteville house, and he was doing his best to keep up with his older brother. We lived in Fayetteville a whopping 9 months before we had to move again to Wilmington, NC. Fayetteville is not at the top of my list of the safest places for young children (no offense); therefore, our house had key locks, as well as chain locks on all doors.

When we moved to the Wilmington house, it never occurred to me that Camden might be able to unlock the doors and wander down the way to introduce himself to the neighbors. The locks on the house in Wilmington were dead bolt and could be opened with just the right amount of effort. Apparently, Camden had it in the bag. His fine motor skills were developing behind my back and his chubby little fingers had turned into slick, skilled digits.

One fine September morning, just a week or so after we moved into the new "beach" house, conveniently located 5 miles from the ocean in a quiet gated community of mostly retired transplants, I turned the boys loose to play in packing boxes while I took a few minutes to brush my teeth. You'd think a mom could manage a few minutes for those kinds of things, right? Wrong.

While brushing my teeth and enjoying getting comfortable in the new Master bathroom, I began to think that things were a little too quiet. I turned the water off and called for the boys. No answer. Oh, no. I ran to the living room and there was no sign of the boys. No problem, it was a big new house; they had to be somewhere inside. They were not. I quickly turned in circles around the living room, and I began to panic. In mid-spin I noticed the door to back porch was opened. "Oh, Dear Lord!"

There is a small ditch in the back yard that serves as a sort of border between our property and the neighbor's. There are no fences in the neighborhood-it's just a giant backyard free-for-all. It is designed so because the association pays for lawn care (where one guy can ride in and raze all the lawns in one giant sweep). It's a terrific service if you are retired and don't care about fences and such-not terrific if you have young tots and need boundaries. Because the drainage is terrible (non-existent), the ditch fills with water every time it rains even a little.

I ran outside to find the boys swimming and splashing like ducks in the puddles left by the early morning rain. I ran crying ran as fast as I could (which is pretty speedy considering I used to be a track star), and I swept up both boys, one under each arm, and ran straight to the house, their wet little limbs swinging wildly.

I dried them off and thanked God they were safe. I called Ryan to insist we have the locks changed immediately to a child-proof system. I now literally keep the boys under lock-and-key, and I keep the key on top of the mantel. The next day the boys and I met the backyard neighbor, and he informed me he had already gotten a glimpse of the boys splashing around in his backyard. Really? And you thought you'd just enjoy the show from your patio? Welcome to the neighborhood.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

910 Magazine Article: I'll Take Mine with Tots

I'll take mine with tots

By Michelle Evans Jarrell

Correspondent


Imagine an exasperated mother shoveling down food and pleading with her 5-year-old to eat something on his plate while her dining partner, who is quickly running out of ways to entertain her toddler, is chasing the young one through the aisles.
Does this sound like you? Wouldn’t it be nice to enjoy an evening out with the family in a restaurant that satisfies children and adults? Don’t let the thought of another meal out give you indigestion; we have a few solutions. In this article you will find a few tips on dining out with children, plus 910 area moms share their advice and favorite kid-friendly restaurants.


TIPS FOR DINING OUT

Whenever possible, make a reservation.
It is common knowledge that children do not have the attention spans of adults, yet somehow many parents seem to forget this fact when expecting their kids to wait 20 minutes for a table, 15 minutes to order and then another 20 minutes for the meal.
Popular restaurants can have waits as long as 45 minutes on the weekends. Some adults have trouble waiting that long for a table. Take advantage of establishments that offer call-ahead seating, where your name is placed on the waiting list when you call. By the time you get there, your wait is much shorter.

Call for menus in advance.
While it may not be possible in every situation, a little time spent planning a meal can go a long way with small children, whether eating at home or dining out. If your child has a persnickety palate, call the restaurant and have them fax or e-mail you the menu. Most chain restaurants, and many other savvy establishments, post their menus online to entice diners.Visiting the restaurant’s Web site also is a great way to learn about specials, including nights when kids eat free. Plus, the less time you spend studying menus, the sooner the food will be served on the table.

Pack a bag of treats and games.
Consider bringing something unobtrusive to entertain your child during the wait, such as a hand-held video game or a coloring book. If you know your child is hungry (or will become so before dinner is finally served), carry along a couple of snacks to sustain him in the meantime.

Dine during off-peak hours.
You might not normally choose to eat supper at 4:50, but if you are visiting a trendy restaurant, that could mean a major difference in your wait time. Moreover, if you arrive just before the restaurant is in full swing, you can relax more knowing there is not another family within 50 feet of you, and you can enjoy the undivided attention of your server.

KID-FRIENDLY EATS (NOT YOUR TYPICAL FAST FOOD)


Joe’s Crab Shack, particularly the one on McPherson Church Road in Fayetteville, is a favorite because of the outdoor playground. During warmer months, families can dine on the patio, and parents of squirmy children can take turns going down the slide. Joe’s is a very friendly, upbeat environment where the wait staff keeps things interesting by breaking out in the occasional line dance. The music and lights might be overwhelming for parents of babies, but if you visit during the slower hours, you can enjoy a wonderful meal without the crowd. The children’s menu offers typical kid food (pizza, chicken fingers, etc.), but it also has healthier options, such as grilled chicken and steamed vegetables. The restaurant also offers kids meal deals on Tuesday nights, where children can eat for about $2.

“Welcome to Moe’s!” When you don’t want to wait long for a meal, but you would like something different from the usual fast-food fare, Moe’s Southwest Grill is one solution. This casual and friendly restaurant boasts a mouthwatering menu of fat burritos and tacos, and children (and parents) will love the free chips and salsa that come with every meal.


Ruby Tuesday, the casual American-style restaurant and bar, allows customers the option of making reservations online. No more waiting for a table! Ruby Tuesday offers a variety of food on the children’s menu to suit almost any taste. The colorful salad bar offers a nice distraction for younger children where they can help you pick out your toppings. High chairs are readily available, and the restaurant also provides a coloring sheet and crayons.

Chick-fil-A is not your typical fast food restaurant. When compiling this list, I thought I would stay clear of fast food types, but when my family visits Chick-fil-A, we always dine-in! No article on child-friendly eats could leave this restaurant out. Of course they serve chicken nuggets and waffle fries, but the fruit cup is delicious, too. Chick-fil-A is the only fast food joint I have ever visited where someone offers to carry my tray every single time I approach the counter (with my children in tow, of course).


WHAT OTHER MOMS SAY

Cheryl Jo Allin, a home-school coordinator and mother of two (and this issue’s Everyday Mom), suggests asking for crackers or chips while you wait and having the server bring the children’s food as soon as it is done. She also dishes on her favorite family restaurant: “Chili’s is my family’s top pick restaurant in the Fayetteville area. (They) have crayons and paper for your kids to color with and normally will cater to your children’s likes by changing the menu. In addition, I have a child with severe food allergies, and they have accommodated our needs very well.”

Julie Small, mother of two, tells us her favorite family restaurant is On The Border. Her advice for a positive restaurant experience is to introduce children to dining out early on: “We started taking our kids out as babies. They are used to going to restaurants and have no trouble (even at 1 and 3) going to dinner.”

Sara Reider, stay-at-home mom of three, loves restaurants where children eat free because there are sure to be plenty of other families with young ones. Her trick for a more pleasant restaurant experience: “I always bring snacks and their Leapfrog game systems to keep them occupied. They also like coloring, so unless I know they will have crayons, etc., I always make sure to bring my own.”

Caroline Nixon, Fayetteville native and author of the book “A Mom’s Guide to Sanity,” enjoys casual dining restaurants, and her family particularly likes Red Robin. She talks about the lesson that can be learned from dining out: “I think it is important for the kiddies to be able to be in a public place (for a reasonable length of time) without going crazy. Other countries don’t tend to accommodate the kids as much as we do.” Her advice for calming an uncooperative child: “I think leaving at least for a minute or two also can teach the child that they cannot act that way and stay at the cool restaurant.”